#probably best left hypothetical. but so sick nonetheless

[perhaps-only-a-mirage]

Warning; Home Stuck......

i really like all the sprites in homestuck! they are all so very shape, and so very color. i've always really liked the idea of the mechanics of it and all, especially with the sprites that aren't *really* the kids (like jaspers, bec, kinda nanna)

HOWEVER: the alpha kids, where are their cool sprites! it's just kid after kid, and the trolls were just mushed together until they weren't. so, i present to you all... some alpha kid sprites that i've come up with! they don't really line up with canon, and would probably just result in even more excess characters, but that's alright, this is just a hypothetical after all. i'm significantly more confident in my choices with the strilondes, not so much with the crockenglishes. anyway, here goes!

Poppopsprite?

...OK yeah that one's kind of obvious. but come on, the dynamic would be so cool! there are already almost no character interactions between Jane and Nannasprite, but the concept alone is already so interesting. what differences would there be between our dear friend Johnathan and Poppop? how would growing under such harsh conditions change him, and how would he *not* change? there are interesting questions here, and i desire to see them. i like it when symmetry, so i presume he would be all sleuth'd up.. though i'm not sure if there's an appropriate item to prototype for this. where's a giant detective doll when you need it?

Mutiesprite!

i'm surprised i haven't seen this one more! it's always been kind of sad how little Vodka Mutini gets to be Roses cat for awhile, but then seems to die on meteor impact in both timelines. thus, i present, the Lalonde cat swap! Rose gets Mutie, Roxy eventually obtains Mutie, and then Mutiesprite. Roxy gets Jaspers, Rose eventually obtains Jaspers, and then Jaspersprite. absolute kitty perfection. as for the second prototyping, i think it's likely that one of Roxy's wizard dolls could fall into the sprite in some way. not sure what the design would be, but i think the wizard kitty is a very nice thought :-]

...Li'l Halcalsprite! (i'm not sorry)

okay just listen. i know this scrambles canon a lot, but. Hal and Cal sprite fusion. look, it parallels Davesprite AND Calsprite, see??? and Hal could totally just get a proper robot body later! this would give both Dirk and the audience the most psychic damage possible, and it's beautiful. AND in character! remember, both of those Dirks love cal. and what better way for, uh, Hal to deflect from that dark scene?.. okay i'm admittedly pretty bad at judging characters, but it works if you squint at it. moving on!

uuhhh... uuuuuhhhhh.. sprite!

okay i have no idea. Jake, my man, where is your silly dead thing of choice that would parallel Becsprite and Jadesprite? uhhh.. Gcat, maybe? i don't know, i always dislike how Gcat is dismissed and shoved into sprites. uhh. mmmaybe Grandma English took the remains of Halley with her...??? it'd be cool! i guess! okay yeah i have nothing. sorry Jake :-(

those are my hypothetical alpha kid sprites. sorry if this was a bit scatterbrained and hard to read, i'm mostly just dumping my thoughts out here in case anyone else stumbles upon them. tell me if you can think of any alpha kid sprites, OK?

[artpoint420]

Melvin and the Silent Diagnosis for a Brilliantly Broken Psyche

Hypothetical Diagnosis Insecurity masked with narcissistic tendencies characterized with compulsive obsessions driven by blatant autism, and no that is not an immature insult I test extremely highly for Asperger's myself Here's the Evidence: (I will state before hand that Melvin-borg is a completely separate character in my mind, and thus will not be included in this particular theory.  Melvin decided not to turn out like him, so they are canonically separate characters) He is obviously and frequently inspired by George and Harold, but his deeply embedded fear of rejection makes him dangerously bitter, and it doesn't help that everytime he breaks out of this protective shell, he is rejected or betrayed once again. It’s important to note that while he may be high-functioning (aka: Aspergers) he is still Autistic. That’s because Asperger’s is not a form of autism- it is autism. Period. And any kind of autism or mental attypicality left untreated can develop in to many, many other severe mental disorders, or, in general, make life a metric heck ton harder and complicated than it already is. I also need to confess that I test highly positively for autism myself as well as being an INTP female (Myers-Briggs Personality Test). Not to brag, but all that combined with my naturally creative nature makes me rare af, but it also means I can't communicate or handle stress #liketheothergirls, so that has lead me to being/feeling bullied and ostracized.  I also have anxiety and depression issue which run in my family, and mild insomnia, and may or may not be relapsing into an eating disorder. Paired with psychical problems like acid reflux and severe neck tension, health, whether psychical or mental is of uttermost importance to me.  It suffices to say, autism is not easy to deal with and if not taken care for properly a person, especially if not made at least aware of what autism truly is, it can truly ruin their life. Combined with the neglectful nature of his parents (at least in the books) I and many others in this fandom truly believe Melvin is at least autistically coded. Not only does this fit the archetype of his character but it also fits the theme of the books to a TEE. At its core, CU, of all things, is a children's book series, about living your best life despite not being “normal.” Even characters like the teachers or Mr Krupp who strive for “normality” are shown to actually have deeply repressed creativity, or, in some cases, deep trauma from their own childhoods. It suffices to say that I resonate deeply with Melvin. Say what you want about him or me, I was able to relate to him the second he spoke his first line in the second book. Sorry to turn this into a long vent, but I feel it is best to use myself to support this theory as well as harder evidence, even if it is mostly a means of self-therapy. To start, we both are obsessed with school even to a detrimental degree. Ever since head-start (Pre-K but a million times better), these "book-smarts" were the first thing I ever truly excelled at. When the other kids bullied (or as I now know as teasing) me, I would lose myself in a stack of homework or a book 2-3 grades past my grade level (this is before I drew or wrote as a main hobby). Similarly, Melvin is rarely seen without a book or gadget, just like me. We both over analyze things and hide our feelings. We both have intense crushes on others but are terrified to dare express them, or do but to nothing but awkwardness. We were both science kids, and fascinated by words and/or numbers alone (I still am just in a more artistic way). We both struggle to communicate and relate to others. We both have a unusual sense of humor and are highly observant of surroundings all the while missing what’s in front of our noses. We both have interests that quickly spiral into obsessions and dropping the obsession only when sick of it. We both practice similar forms of stimming. We both not only thrive but crave control and structure with the world around us, even to the point of being "control freaks" and creating odd habits, routines, and rituals regardless of whether they are necessary or make sense. We both have an intense fear of intimacy and rejection to the point of practicing self-isolation and in some cases self harm or other unhealthy coping methods (seen with Melvin over eating sweets or over working himself. For me it’s disordered eating or self flagellation, something I have all but completely dropped but still) We also both tend to see ourselves as inferior to others and attempt to mask those feelings with a superiority complex (I feel bad for my siblings but I didn’t know what I was doing, and no it was not abusive just sibling rivalry and I’m the oldest anyway, and we are country kids and understand “rough-housing” =/= using each other as a punching bag, but accidents happen I'm sorry) We both seem to become easily overstimulated and have explosive mental and emotional breakdowns when things just . . . become too much However the harsh divide between male and female and fictional and nonfictional means we both present certain traits differently. Whereas he presents a more linear line of thinking my mind is overwhelmingly sporadic. Also, I have over sensitivities to touch and light (and sometimes certain noises, but not anything not normal? Wfk.) But maybe he does have oversensitivity but I can't think of an example off the top of my head. Enough about me however. I know Melvin and autism has been done to death.  Hell, I just did it to death.  My actual theory is more on the inner mechanisms of his mind and predicting how he will develop should the series allow for full character development. Also, similar to my Krupp theory, I will be listing his crimes out and give him a proper sentence for his age and maturity level (which will be light as I am sympathetic to his plight).   This is already getting too long, so Imma try to finally get to the point.  Characters with autism are honestly a mixed bag, sometimes there as standardized as my mystery Daddy Sherlock Holmes and other times they are as subtle as Pearl or Peridot from Steven Universe (has Rebbaca Sugar confirmed this? sorry). Honestly, it does distress me that autism is almost always used to have an evil genius character or some weird side character for brownie/ diversity points. (this makes me a bit hypocritical I guess, considering my own stories. I guess tropes are tropes for a reason) And while Dav Pilky May not be subtle with his scholastic politics or humor his one spectacular tool in his writing books has always been, when it comes to his characters, showing instead of telling. This is something I latched on to even as a kid, and I was already thinking up theories on the characters before I even knew character theories were a thing.  Like what happened to Harold's Dad (hint, hint).  Why was Harold's sister rarely used?  Does Mr Krupp actually like their comics (a now accepted theory, but not just min? And many many others I'm probably never gonna write.  It took until how long in the books to reveal George and Harold have ADHD? Before that they were simply described as being as smart as Melvin but just in different ways. Personally I feel that autism is inverted ADHD. This is an opinion I’ve recently formed so if I’m wrong bloody attack me in the comments. Anyway, Melvin presenting autism makes him the perfect foil to George and Harolds’ more sporadic antics. The only true difference between autistic folks and ADHD folks is that those with autism tend to crave a structured environment full of rules, and set goals to achieve, while such an environment is HELL to children with ADHD (aka:George and Harold). (Even though if with adults they can trust, children with ADHD thrive in structured environments if they are surrounded by adults or authority figures they can trust.)  I know some will tell me ADHD is on the spectrum, but I just learned this like actually the other day and don’t fully understand it.  My prediction is that Melvin will eventually and naturally mellow out if just because staying so high strung all the time is a huge waste of mental energy.  I know good as hell I had to.  Also, he mellowed our in the books and went from a screeching revenge exacting lil narcissistic white boi prick to a person who simply wants to pursue his interests and even helping George and Harold (selfishly, but help nonetheless). He even went from enjoying the fame and attention of hero-ing to realizing it did not fufill him. Indeed quite the opposite.  His true passion lay in solving world problems through science, and I don't think the ending for him in the books could have been any more perfect considering his character.   In the Netflix show, similar to how I think Krupp's personalities are merging, I believe that Melvin will eventually become more like his Broski alter ego (which I calmly demand more of).  Overall, given that this show needs to go back to the status quo more often than not, I don't think his core character will ever change, and it doesn't need to.  Multiple times throughout the series he's been shown to crave friendship from George and Harold, despite audibly hating him . Textbook Tsundere, I know.  He will form a friendly rivalry with George and Harold, I have almost no doubt about that, taking the season 1 finale, season 2 finale, season 3 first episode, and halloween special into consideration. (Yeah, if someone will send me clips I will give them my eternal gratefulness) To conclude, because by god this is long, Melvin is, SHOCKER, just a little kid.  A little kid who likes muffins and dolls and has big hopes and dreams.  A little kid whose love for science and unrecognized creativity is channeled into making inventions that are even more impressive than those of Professor P (sorry P).  But he is a little kid with his own needs and stuggles which at this point remain unmet.  His parents are canonically neglectful, I cannot repeat that enough times.  The effects of neglect are a hell-hole of its own regardless of growing up with undiagnosed autism.  But that's just a theory- Alright, that was a banger, I guess next up is Melvin-borg since writing this has given me some interesting ideas for him.  Let’s see how long this hyperfocus train will go!

[sweetbitterpdf]

63 & 15 💖💖 (also your writing is so good wow)

( angst/fluff prompt list !!! )

ahhh thank you so much anon!! i love writing, so it really means a lot that other people enjoy what i write too. 💖

i imagined this as taking place after their almost-kiss in episode three, but before their actual first kiss in episode four.

63. “I need a place to stay.” &  15. “You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

Eliott wasn’t the first person he thought of, admittedly.

However, Yann is away with family for the week, Arthur’s family is… invasively nice, and he really isn’t in the mood to deal with Basile right now— Daphné this, Daphné that— and so his best friends are eliminated as options. He briefly contemplates asking Chloé, but the thought of her trying anything with him while they’re alone makes him feel physically sick.

He could probably spend a night or two with one of the girls, he figures. On the other hand, though, he knows that telling one of them something means telling all of them something. He knows that if he complained about Manon to Imane or Emma or Alexia or especially Daphné, Manon would find out within hours— if not minutes. He’s not trying to start anything— with anyone— he’s looking for someone to vent to, and maybe a bed to sleep in, if he’s lucky. That’s all.

And only then does he think of Eliott.

Eliott, who added his number into Lucas’ contacts only a couple of days ago. Who gave him beer just because he could, who danced around to dubstep the first time they hung out like a maniac. 

Who— when Lucas played piano for him— looked at him like he was something special.

He takes a deep breath. Presses down on Eliott’s name.

And it rings.

And rings.

And then—

“Hello?”

“Hi, Eliott? It’s Lucas.”

“Lucas, I know. You put your number in my phone the other day, too, remember?” Eliott’s voice is muffled through the phone, but he can hear the teasing lilt to it. It makes him nervous, hearing Eliott’s voice without seeing his face.

“Oh, right, yeah.” His voice wavers as he speaks, threatening to crack with his nerves. “Listen, um… This might be a weird question— please don’t feel like you have to say yes!— but can I ask you for a favour?” And oh fuck, there isn’t any going back now, is there?

“What do you need?” Eliott asks, and he wants to curl up under the concern in Eliott’s tone, pull it up over him like a blanket.

“Well… You know that girl who, ah… interrupted us, the other night?” He’s run the moment he saw Manon a few nights ago through his head more than he’d like to admit. What had happened, and— more importantly— what hadn’t.

“I remember that, yeah.” Eliott chuckles, soft and light on the other end of the line.

“Well, she lived at my place before I did. She left— moved to London with her boyfriend— and I moved in, but now she’s back, and I don’t know for how long.” He tries his hardest to only tell Eliott the essentials, to resist dumping all of his emotional baggage about the situation onto him.

“Okay.” Lucas can hear the ‘… And?’ that is left unsaid.

“And my bedroom used to be hers, and she’s taken it back. I’ve been on the couch for the past couple of days. Basically, the apartment is too crowded now, and I’m just… Frustrated. With her, with my roommates.” I don’t have a place here, he almost says, but doesn’t.

“Mhm.”

“And I know we barely know each other. But I had a good time when we hung out last time, and I…” Lucas swallows, lets himself take a breath. “I trust you. Please don’t feel pressured, but I need a place to stay, and I was wondering if I could stay with you, for a night or two.” The line is silent, for a moment.

“Yeah, sure.” Eliott’s voice is clear on the other end of the line. Lucas can’t quite believe it.

“Yeah?”

“Of course. Come tonight if you want. Stay as long as you need to.” He pinches himself, to make sure that this isn’t a dream. Not only has he managed to build up the courage to ask Eliott— the new boy at school, the boy that makes his chest flutter like no one else has before— if he can stay with him.

Eliott said yes.

“Are you sure? You really don’t have to—”

“Lucas,” Eliott cuts him off before he can continue, “I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t genuinely willing. You can stay with me.” If this were a face-to-face conversation, Lucas would have to turn away from the sincerity of Eliott’s tone. “Plus, We can have a do-over of the other night— remember? ‘Joints, beers, you choose the music’?” Lucas is grinning like an idiot now, grateful that Eliott can’t see him, that he can react however he wants as long as he does so silently.

“Okay.” He tries to hide his grin in his tone. Play it cool, Lallemant, “Is it okay if I come over around eight?”

“Sure, I’ll clean up a bit. We can order some food in once you get here, if you want?”

“That sounds nice.” He thinks of sitting and watching a movie with Eliott, stuffing their faces with pizza or Chinese food or whatever, and he realizes he’s never wanted anything more.

“I’ll see you at eight, then.” He can’t be sure, but it sounds like Eliott may be smiling, too.

“Hey Eliott?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“See you soon, Lucas.”

—

After far too long, Lucas manages to build up the courage to press the buzzer on the front door of Eliott’s building. The sound of Eliott’s voice, even through the intercom system, both tenses and relaxes him.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Lucas.”

“Oh, hey! Come on up!” The door buzzes and Lucas is knocking on the door a moment later. If hearing Eliott’s voice brought upon a wave of conflicting emotions, it didn’t even hold a candle to seeing him, smiling at him from the doorway— just as he had only a few nights ago.

“Hi.” Lucas says. Eliott’s entire demeanour is just so relaxed, so casual. Lucas tries to replicate it. You’re a friend meeting a friend, he tells himself, trying to sound convincing. Nothing more, and that’s okay, he lies.

“Hi.” Elliot’s tone is light and airy, perfectly matching his expression. Lucas tries not to react to the small smile on his face. “Come in.”

He can’t help but compare Eliott’s apartment to the evening that they spent together before. The light is low, just as it was before— dreamy, almost. He’s never been as aware of scents as he is now, stood in Eliott’s living room.

“So…” Eliott says, breaking the silence. “Pizza? There’s this place near me that’s really good.”

—

And so Lucas’ life shifts, if only for a few days. Eliott waits for him at the end of each school day, they bus to his place together, and they chill together. Eliott helps him with literature, and he helps Eliott with science. It’s quite the mutually beneficial development.

Which brings a host of new discoveries with it.

Like the fact that Eliott’s music taste overlaps with his quite a bit. His record collection is quite eclectic, and they settle on some laid back background music once they get home quickly.

Or the fact that he barely ever cooks. I’m not good at it, trust me, he said once, pulling a frozen pizza out of the freezer for the second day in a row.

Or the fact that his whole body relaxes when he’s in his own space. Everything loosens once he closes the door behind them. Lucas never noticed how stressed being at school makes Eliott until now.

Or— and he hasn’t realized this until just now— Eliott steals glances at him almost as frequently as he does with Eliott.

Lucas has been staying with Eliott for nearly a week. They’re watching a movie again— as has almost become routine for them, now— and every time Eliott looks over, Lucas swears he can feel it. He can see the subtle tilt of Eliott’s head away from the screen in his periphery.

“Eliott?” He says, looking over. Warmth rushes over his when their eyes meet. “I’ve been having a really nice time here.”

“Me too.” Why does everything seem so easy for you, he wants to ask. “I like spending time with you.” The thought that Eliott genuinely enjoys his company is one that he wants to hold on to forever— that he’s more than just someone to be tolerated.

“Thank you for letting me stay.” It’s the sort of thing that he would say on his way out, but he’s not planning on leaving tonight, not in the slightest. His mind wanders, then zeroes in.

“Do you remember when my roommate interrupted us, the other night?”

“Yeah.”

“If she hadn’t, what would have happened?” Lucas turns, then, to face Eliott fully. If not for the fact that they’re currently sat on Eliott’s couch, it’s a near-perfect mirror of that night. It’s not incomparable to when he asked Eliott how he would draw him, hypothetically speaking. He’s not sure where these fleeting bouts of courage come from, but he’s thankful for them nonetheless.

Eliott looks at him for a long time, his eyes steady. It makes Lucas feel naked, to be looked at like that; it makes his courage waver.

“Would it have gone differently?” Eliott’s quiet for several seconds. The silence stretches out, long and thick between them. Lucas almost regrets asking, but then—

“Yeah,” Eliott responds, “I think it would have.”

“Oh yeah? How?” He asks, and they’re so close now. He wonders when they started leaning in but he doesn’t care enough to ask. Part of him would be content to stay this close forever, but another part of him is chanting closer, closer. He doesn’t need Eliott to answer, not really, he knows the answer. He knows what he wanted to happen, and the way Eliott is looking over at him is hinting at the notion that he wanted the same thing.

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.” Eliott whispers. His voice sounds restrained, and Lucas wants to ask him how he wants him, why he wants him. But instead he just takes Eliott’s hand in his and says—

“Then have me.”

“But I don’t you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.” Eliott’s gaze falls down to his lap. He’s fit to explode from the softness in his voice, from the fact that it’s directed at him. “You’re taking refuge from your roommates. You’re in a vulnerable state and—”

“And I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time I saw you.” Lucas’ mouth is moving faster than his mouth now, but he’s far too desperate to care. Please, he wants to say, wants to pull him in without a word. “I appreciate your concern, I do. And I understand if you don’t want to kiss me— that’s fine, that’s good— but I want to kiss you so badly right now and—”

Eliott throws himself at him, closing the distance between them. His arms are around Lucas’ neck immediately, and after the initial shock wears off, he winds his arms around Eliott’s waist, his hands roaming his back, pulling him as close as he possibly can. They kiss and distant stars explode, they kiss and everything else falls away.

“Eliott,” Lucas breathes out when they part. The smile on Eliott’s face is completely and utterly new, unlike anything he’s ever seen before. He wonders how many smiles Eliott hasn’t shown him. He wonders how many he’ll get to see.

“Lucas.” Eliott responds, teasing and affectionate. Lucas can’t help but smile, too, his heart pounding away inside his chest, more lively than it’s ever been— and when Eliott pulls him down, he goes easily and willingly.

[hufflepuffmarlenemckinnon]

Letters from Spring Term 1981

An Excerpt from my Novel-Length Fanfic The Dog and the Duckling

Summary: Sirius is assigned to mentor Marlene Mckinnon when she joins The Order of the Phoenix. His perceptions of Hufflepuff house are drastically changed, and so is his life.

Rated Teen mostly for language and innuendo.

A/N: So most everyone who follows me will have gathered that I headcanon Marlene as Duck animagus for a lot of the fic I write. I decided to put some of the backstory of that up on Tumblr in case anyone was curious. I’ll keep these blurbs listed in chronological order on my Fic Masterlist.   Letters from Spring 1981 Dearest Sirius,

I’ve only been back at school for two weeks but I feel the sting of your absence more acutely than before. I guess that’s what I get for twisting your wand to kiss me. It’s a bit like if you’d never tasted treacle tart because you lived in some sort of desolate wasteland entirely devoid of treacle tart. Except you went on holiday to the land of treacle tart and now that you’re back home you feel a terrible void in the pit of your stomach where the treacle tart should be. I hope you enjoy that metaphor because now I find myself not only unkissed but hungry as well.

This reminds me, I have not yet told you of my most recent scrape with your very favorite person, Argus Filch. You have noted before that the key to a Hufflepuff having a good time is the kitchens. I was proving you right by enlisting the elves to bake gillyweed brownies, both for the personal enjoyment of myself and my dorm mates, and for attempting to share with unsuspecting professors. Sounds like a good use of a Saturday, right? It would have been if not for one serious flaw in my plans. The Hogwarts Elves are happy to prepare whatever I ask for and with whatever ingredients I provide, but they are the absolute worst at keeping it under wraps. So of course when Filch was lurking about, looking for fun to ruin, he smelled something suspicious in the kitchens and when he inquired of course those big eared baked good providing twits up and told him it was for me.

Luckily I get to serve my detention with Professor Sprout. She wasn’t even mad that I nicked her gillyweed. And I don’t mind helping her tend to her plants. The only real downside is the 6th year Ravenclaw who serves detention with me. Gilderoy Lockhart.  He’s in detention for carving out his own name in 20 foot letters on the Quidditch pitch and then sending up an image of his own face into the sky. That tells you just about all there is to know about Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart. Nonetheless, it’s a distraction from how much I miss you.

Do you think it would warrant sneaking into Hogwarts as Padfoot just to satisfy my overwhelming desire to kiss you again (and again and again…)? If you don’t I may get into even more trouble and I’ll break your record for most detentions in a single term. I know you hate to be shown up.

I love you more than is rational or good for my health.

-Your Devoted Duck, otherwise known as

Marlene Elfrida McKinnon

Dearest Duckling-

Your last letter shows a reckless disregard for the rules. I can’t even pretend I’m not impressed. And a little turned on.

I’m terribly sorry that you found yourself thwarted by the most Esteemed and Noble Caretaker, His Royal Filchness. Perhaps he would have benefited from your gillyweed brownies most of all, if you’d been generous enough to share with the likes of him. I wonder if argus Filch has ever had a fun time in his life.

Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart of Ravenclaw House sounds like a lively character. At least you haven’t been stuck with someone boring? Though I can imagine hearing him drone on about his own reflection would get tedious after the hilarity of it wore off. Is this the same poncey kid who sent himself 800 valentine’s back in my 7th Year? The name sounds familiar and I can imagine that kid progressing to gimmicks involving his own face in the sky.

Though I am loathe to be the cause of your expulsion, I find it impossible to say no to my little duck, I think I can probably manage to meet you by the willow like before, This coming Thursday after curfew. This time with less brewing difficult potions and more kissing. Use the map.

I love you more than Filch loves his cat,

-Your Sirius

Dearest Sirius,

Your last letter sounded really bleak. I’m sorry that I’m not there to bear the brunt of this war with you. I wish I’d left school early. I know it sounds nonsensical, because I’ve always gotten high marks, but I feel like it’s all so pointless when the world looks like it does. What does it matter if I get a transfiguration NEWT when we’re on the brink of a full on death eater takeover? I’ve come this far though and it’s only a few more months.

Which reminds me, I’ll have Easter week off as per usual and I wondered if I could come stay with you? I’d much prefer it that way. Staying at school is an option of course, and I could stay with my mum and dad. I just thought after last holiday it would be nice to have some time together where we aren’t interrupted by my various family members every 5 minutes. We weren’t really alone together at any point during that visit. Was that intentional? You’ll let me know what you think about my staying with you. I’m only about a meter and a half tall, thus I don’t take up much space. The only thing is that my hair has been known to attack.

Carolyn is still waxing lyrical about Mr. F. Prewett, despite your generously arranging for the pair to be at the same place at the same time. Now she refuses to shut up about how shiny his hair is up close. It is rather shiny. Much shinier than her fervent admirer, Barty Crouch Jr. His hair is not shiny in the least. He’s actually sort of creepy. I know his dad is the head of MLE and all, but he seems to be coming unhinged. He should probably join a drama troupe or something and get the attention that he clearly craves. Whatever he does, I hope it involves staying away from my friend. I put my best effort into dissuading his continued pestering just recently. This effort earned me a week of detentions.

Sometimes I think Professor McGonagall gives me detention just because she enjoys my company. I wish she would just ask me to tea or something. I’m feeling very persecuted. I’ve never once been caught in a broom cupboard tryst or the like (because you didn’t know that I existed when you were in school. Tragic). I’ve hardly ever blown anything up. Yet I’ve gotten 4 separate weeks of detentions with Professor McGonagall for various offenses this year. Then another 2 with Sprout. All I did this time was make Crouch grow bright pink hair out of his ears and nose if he got within 3 meters of Carolyn. Which inevitably he did. It was actually a fun bit of magic and I think McGonagall was secretly a little impressed. She asked after you yesterday. She said that you probably could benefit from a Hufflepuff in your life. I decided to take that as a compliment. She clearly has a soft spot for you. It’s sweet and all but could you please tell your other girlfriend to stop giving me these unjust detentions?

I miss you. If you were here I’d drag you to a broom cupboard and earn a 7th week of detentions.

I love you more than Gilderoy Lockhart loves Gilderoy Lockhart,

-Your Marlene

Dearest Duckling-

As far as your Easter holiday is concerned, you know that I’d never say no. I’ve already started a countdown that caused james to make a face. He’s probably just jealous because his life is consumed with changing nappies and being a responsible adult and I get to be young and in love.

I’ve spoken to Minerva about her subjecting you to All these detentions. You appear to be correct that she’s enjoying your time together. She says we are well matched and she approves but that if we should ever have a child that she’s retiring from the teaching profession.

Would our hypothetical offspring be a puppy or a duckling? Perhaps something in between? Would that be a niffler? That sounds about right. Nifflers can really cause a ruckus and perhaps Minerva would be right to avoid being subjected to that. Of course this is all assuming that you’d even want to have my nifflers. (That’s a sentence I never envisioned myself writing.)

On a graver note, I heard just yesterday about the disappearance of Gawain’s Fiancée and I felt sick. Edgar is clearly doing all he can, but it angers me that magical Law Enforcement refuses to devote any resources to investigating the disappearance of a squib. I told Gawain that I was willing to help in any way that I could. You might remind him that I genuinely mean that. I’m not above going on a mission that was not expressly assigned by Dumbledore. Your family is the biggest lot of Badgers I’ve ever encountered and i love them. Even Gawain.

I need to get back to work, James is giving me a look.

I love you and miss you to an undignified degree,

Sirius

[quintheowl]

Wide Eyed

 so... i wrote a fic.

THERE IS HEAVY ANGST UP AHEAD. PLS DO NOT READ IF SELF HARM IS A TRIGGER OR MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE

AO3

Summary: Keith’s soulmate self-harms. He doesn’t really know what to do.

Rating: probably T-M

Pairing: Keith Kogane x Lance McClaine (from Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Word count: 1,853

Warnings: self-harm mentions and vivid description. implied suicide mention. 

Note: i am in no way glamorizing self harm. its a painful subject and my goal was not in any way to make light of it. most of the things from this fic are based on experience - either mine or someone close to me. also it’s 230a and I wanted an angsty Klance fic and I’ve read them all. pls dont send me hate.

Keith wakes up to the stinging skin on his thighs. 

He winces, the pain minimal, but surprisingly sharp, as he rolls out of bed to check the time. 6:04 am. Way too early. 

It isn't until he's in the bathroom and drops his boxers to relieve himself that he realizes why his skin feels so marred.

His upper thighs, concealed by the fabric of his underwear, are covered in cuts. Some are deeper than others, but almost all are scabbed over. He frowns, perplexed and slightly alarmed. What the hell? Did he scratch himself in his sleep?

He carefully bandages the cuts as best he can before returning to the room and sitting on the edge of his bed, listening as his roommate Shiro snores soundly, still blissfully asleep. 

Keith chews on his fingernails as he debates his next course of action. He ultimately decides to try to figure this the fuck out, because seriously, what the hell? He opens his laptop and clicks through another tab. 

Shiro wakes up to him still furiously typing questions into the web browser an hour before class, Keith's brow puckered in concentration and his hasty bandages peeking through the edge of his boxers.

"I'm telling you, Pidge, I don't know what it is! I woke up to find 'em fucking lining my thighs! What am I supposed to think?"

Keith knew his friends wouldn't believe him, that he didn't do it to himself, but he finds himself frustrated at their disbelief nonetheless.

They're sitting at the campus cafeteria, occupying their regular table with everyone else giving them a wide berth. Pidge has flung her jacket to the seat next to her for Hunk, and Allura's done something similar with her purse for Shiro. Lance, sitting beside Pidge and across Keith, is cautiously picking at his burger.

Keith finds himself next to Allura, who's look of concern is becoming particularly irritating.

"Keith, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you should go to counseling," she starts, and Keith has to grit his teeth. 

"I'm NOT overwhelmed. I'm telling you: I woke up to the cuts, and I DIDN'T do it. I'm not cutting, guys. I'm pretty sure you'd know if I was."

The girls still look skeptical, so Keith finds himself staring at Lance instead, who's barely said a word. In fact, upon closer inspection, it looks like Lance's hair has gone unwashed, and the bags under his eyes look darker than normal. 

But before Keith can say anything, Hunk and Shiro arrive at the table. 

"Keith's cutting!" Pidge begins, and Keith groans, openly disgusted.

“I AM NOT CUTTING," he growls. As expected, Shiro begins to launch into a lecture, and Hunk throws the same expression Allura has stitched across her face.

Keith is at the end of his rope when Lance stands suddenly in the middle of Keith's intervention, wrapping his unfinished burger and stuffing it into his bag. A hush falls over the group, and Keith finds himself frowning.

"Lance, you okay?" He asks, and Lance blinks, staring at everyone before cracking into a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. I'm just heading to class.”

Shiro glances at his watch. "Don't you have Professor Coran's philosophy?" 

Lance nods, still smiling. There's something off about his expression, something fabricated. A pit of dread begins to bloom in Keith's gut.

"Coran's doesn't start for like, another half-hour," Keith points out, and Lance shrugs, swinging his bag on his shoulder. "Got something to take care of," he says. He gives a half-wave as he walks off. "See you guys later.”

To Keith's surprise, the rest of the group recover quickly. New conversations begin, and Keith is still stuck staring after Lance.

"Did he seem a little off to you?" He asks Hunk as they pack up to head to class. Hunk shrugs, tossing the wrapper of his fish sandwich in the trash. "He's Lance. He goes through mood swings all the time. Try being his roommate for a while.”

Keith should trust Hunk, who happens to be Lance's oldest friend.

He can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong.

Lance is ten minutes late to Coran's philosophy class - something that does not go unnoticed.

"Ah, Lance!" Coran belts as Lance tries to shut the door as quietly as possible. "Thank you for joining us today!"

Lance grins, flexing his left bicep. "Thought I'd have a little fun," he says, and Keith scoffs with the rest of the class. As Coran jumps back into his spiel, Lance takes his seat next to Keith, setting his bag at their feet. Keith can't help but notice that despite the heat of the lecture hall, Lance's cargo jacket is hanging off his frame.

"You cold?" Keith asks, and Lance shakes his head, but doesn't reply. The lecture is long and boring. Halfway through, a girl named Nyma asks Coran something off-topic, and by this point, both Keith and Lance have completely tuned out.

Keith is scribbling furiously on the corner of his notebook when he hears something that breaks him out of his stupor.

"-so powerful that they can feel their partner's injuries as they happen." Keith nearly jolts, his notebook easily forgotten, and concentrates on Coran's words.

"Of course, this is all just speculation, but the bonds between soulmates are a sacred thing. They say any wound, no matter how big or small, that happens on one partner will manifest itself on the other.”

Keith leans back in his chair, his fingers absentmindedly running over his cuts. Is that what happened? Could his soulmate be the one doing this to them?

"So hypothetically, how can soulmates communicate with each other?" Nyma presses, and Coran twirls his mustache contemplatively. "Soulmate bonds are expressed through skin. If the skin is changed enough on one partner, the other will be able to see it."

"What's wrong?" Lance whispers suddenly, and Keith pries his eyes away from Coran to glance at him, confused. "Huh?"

Lance nods to Keith's thighs, where his jeans are thick enough to hide the bandages and his fingers are still running over them. "You okay?"

Keith nods. "Yeah," he says, stilling his hands. "I think I just figured something out."

Satisfied, Lance hums and goes back to burying his head in his arms. Keith is still frowning at his lap when he sees a faint mark on the underneath of his arm. Lifting it wonderingly, he sees the faint outline of a butterfly.

He has a suspicion he knows what it is, and he shows Coran after class.

Coran nods, his expression suddenly heavy. "It's a self-harm mechanism," Coran says. "It's called 'The Butterfly Project.' The idea is that a butterfly is drawn on the skin. You're not allowed to cut while the butterfly is visible, as cutting would harm the butterfly, so it forces the person to think hard before doing it."

"I think my soulmate cuts," Keith tells Coran, at the expense of feeling silly for believing a superstition, but Coran offers a sad smile. He pulls up the sleeve of his sweater, exposing faint, horizontal scars lining his skin, and two deep verticle lines on each arm. 

"So did mine."

Coran tells Keith that the best he can do is to be there for his soulmate. "If you try to do anything drastic, you may lose them forever," Coran warns, and Keith has a sinking suspicion Coran is speaking from experience.

So Keith invests in a high-grade permanent marker and deepens the outline on his butterfly. Then he draws another one on the other arm and writes "I'm here" on his left thigh.

For the next two weeks, the cuts heal without giving way to new ones.

Keith feels sick when he wakes up one October morning with slashes down his legs, slicing the already healing scars open. His heart breaks when he sees "I'm sorry," scribbled on his stomach. 

He cries that night. He doesn't know what to reply.

It's a vicious cycle: Keith would wake up to cuts. He would draw butterflies all around his skin for the next week or so. The cuts would stop. Keith would start to relax. Then he'd wake up to the scars slashed open.

Eventually, he becomes so frustrated he punches the mirror in the bathroom. Shiro opens the door that night to find Keith sobbing, his right hand and thighs bleeding, fragments of mirror laughing at them from the floor.

Two weeks later, Keith discovers his soulmate. 

It's snowing, the first snow of the season, and he and Lance are outside, hats on, mittens secure, and scarves wrapped tightly around their necks.

Lance laughs. Genuine, boisterous, Lance laughs. It's been months since he's seen Lance this at peace. With finals finally over, everyone can relax, though the change isn't as drastic in everyone else as it is in Lance.

Furthermore, his soulmate has stopped cutting. The unspoken for now ticks like a bomb in his brain, but Keith ignores it. 

He can hope. He feels so at ease.

Keith grabs a hold of a tree branch to catapult the snow and winces. He'd grabbed it with his bad hand, which he had forgotten was still healing. 

He leans against the tree instead, content on watching Lance. Lance - a Floridan by heart - had never seen snow before. He seems fascinated by every flake, and Keith is fascinated with watching him. 

Then Lance pulls off his right mitten, and Keith feels like he's been sucker-punched in the gut. 

Lance's knuckles are bruised and scarred, evidence of stitchery still displayed on the healing skin. It wouldn't be such a jarring sight if it also wasn't familiar.

Before he knows what he's doing, Keith is striding over. He takes Lance's hand in his, ignoring the way Lance jumps at his suddenness, or the way he feels electric where their skin touches. 

"Keith, wha-" Keith shushes him with a look, and gingerly inspects his hand. It's too familiar. There's no way.

Keith pulls of his glove, showing his own knuckles, and Lance visibly pales. Keith can feel the shift of the atmosphere. He watches as tears fill Lance's eyes. He forces his knees not to buckle. 

"I-I'm sorry," Lance murmurs, his lip quivering in the effort not to cry. Keith furiously wraps him in his arms, cradling his head and reveling in the way Lance grips his coat like a lifeline. 

"I'm here," Keith tells him, relieved, guilty, upset, elated all in one. "I'm here."

Keith kisses Lance's scars that night. He shows Lance his mirroring marks and Lance bursts into tears and apologies again. Keith forgives him immediately (there's no way he can hold a grudge,) and makes him promise he'll go to counseling. 

Lance falls asleep in his arms, tear-stained and exhausted, and Keith kisses his forehead and strokes his cheek with his thumb.

He thinks of Coran, and the soulmate that was stolen from him. He's relieved his soulmate is Lance. It made it easier to find him. Though, honestly, even if they hadn't been friends, Keith reckons he would've found him anyway. He would cross the universe to watch Lance heal.

End.

wow ok this was angstier than i intended. im going to bed.

[graveyardshift-writer]

Endearment and Enmity Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh.

Title: Endearment and Enmity

Rating: T-M depending on chapter, M overall

Summary: When you’re literally married to the person you despise.

Warnings: Homosexual relationships,vulgar words and adult situations.

Author’s Note: I don’t know why I wrote this.

Chapter 2: Fallacies

Living in the Kaiba mansion wasn’t that bad all things considered, although he still missed his old apartment in San Antonio. The size of the mansion was just as much of a curse as it was a blessing. It was nice to have all the space, because this allowed him to have a completely different living space from his… spouse. Especially since it was just him, Kaiba, the small live-in staff and technically Mokuba (who was studying abroad) who still had a room set up. However, all the unnecessary space made the mansion seem so empty… not like a home at all.

When Kaiba had first made his ‘proposal’, he’d assured it would only last about three years, five years at most. Mostly just to get the CEO’s peers to clearly see that he had no intertest in women. Although it seemed like a long time, it was still only a fraction of the time it would take to pay back his student loan debt. As much as he didn’t like Kaiba, at least the guy kept his promises and paid it all off as soon as they both signed the marriage certificate. Jonouchi could have divorced him on the spot, but if Kaiba could uphold his promise, he would as well.

The brunet allowed him to finish covering down for his head nurse as he got his affairs in America in order. He was quite sad to leave America where he’d made several new friends that now he’d probably never see again. Plenty of military personnel in fact since Joint Base San Antonio was the military medical training hub for Soldiers, Airmen and Sailors, a lot of them had a second job at the hospital or worked there as ordered by the military for some reason or another, and they’d introduced him to military culture.

Once he had all of stuff packed, and all his affairs in order to move back to Domino City, Kaiba first had them sign an American marriage license to make the marriage seem more credible given Jonouchi’s dual-citizen status and a long-distance relationship would explain why they’ve never been seen in public together.

Once back in Domino City they weren’t legally married under Japanese law where same-sex marriage wasn’t recognized yet except for a few cases. Kaiba had, however, been right when he said that a big enough donation would make the city look the other way. It made Domino City all too happy to legally recognize their marriage license and issue them a Japanese one as well. It made Jonouchi feel bad though, to think about the legitimate and loving same-sex couples across Japan who couldn’t be married under Japanese law, yet Kaiba could for business purposes just because he was obscenely wealthy. If that wasn’t special treatment, he didn’t know what was.

The two duelists had made a promise that they wouldn’t tell anyone the true reason of their marriage as not to either humiliate in Jonouchi’s case, or demonize in Kaiba’s case, either of them in the eyes of their friends and loved ones. Well, Jonouchi’s friends and loved ones at least; for Kaiba it was loved one, peers, and the public opinion.

Speaking of their friends and loved ones, their marriage had no doubt caused quite the shock, Jonouchi ended up lying to his friends and family that he’d been keeping the ‘relationship’ secret for three years because he didn’t want to cause any drama if it didn’t work out and, and that Kaiba needed time to publicly come out of the closet. His sister was hurt that he’d keep something like this from her, and was still giving him the silent treatment about it.

Mokuba was the opposite to Jonouchi’s sibling, he was ecstatic over his brother getting married to someone who was both a familiar face and 'wasn’t a gold-digging hoebag’ in his own words (guy had a colorful vocabulary). However, Kaiba admitted to him soon after the 'wedding’ that Mokuba knew him so well that he probably knew it was all a façade and went with it because he was just glad his big brother wasn’t totally alone now.

Now, there was no way in Dante’s Inferno that Jonouchi would resign to become a housewife (he cringed at the word) after he’d spent so much time and stress to become a CRNA, so with some heavy persuasion, which was actually just carefully worded blackmail, Kaiba agreed to let his new spouse work under the condition that he would work at a private hospital owned by Kaiba Corp.

While he hated that he had to technically work for the guy he had grown to despise more and more each passing day when he already had to bear with being married to him; the facility was a doctor’s office and acute care clinic that catered specifically to orphan or underprivileged pediatric patients, which Jonouchi couldn’t bring himself to disapprove of no matter who owned and funded it. It was almost sweet how the CEO in all his influence, wealth and power, couldn’t let go of his roots.

Not that he empathized with the man.

Being new, he was just a regular CRNA with RN duties since anesthesia was rarely administered with pediatric patients compared to adults. He wasn’t in as high as a position as he used to be at the hospital he used to work at, to his chagrin he’d have to work his way up all over again. And it wasn’t easy because being married to the owner of the facility meant that automatically one half of the staff hated him and swore up and down he got special treatment, while the other half consistently tried to kiss his ass.

Home life was dull, Kaiba was usually at work, and even when he wasn’t they lived in different wings of the mansion and so far, have had very little interaction since getting married. A small comfort, in the beginning of this convoluted 'plan’ the red eyes black dragon master was afraid that his… spouse, would require them sharing a bedroom and bed; or worse, sex. He’d seriously prefer sticking his dick in an ant hill over having sex with Kaiba, his animosity towards the CEO was just that strong.

They’d been married, and he’d been back in Domino City, for six months so far. They still didn’t even really like each other at all, and hadn’t so much as kissed for obvious reasons.

Currently Jonouchi was in one of loungerooms, which each floor had, but he was in the first floor one; he’d just gotten back from the gym after work, and didn’t feel like going up the stairs. He was lying on the couch in just his scrub pants and white cotton shirt, watching TV and munching on a bowl of seedless grapes.

All of a sudden, his 'knight in shining armor’ shows up, and Jonouchi just tries his best to ignore him but he stands there quietly staring at him from the doorway as if expecting acknowledgment, which he most likely was but Jonouchi didn’t give two halves of a fuck.

Eventually he relented “Can I help you, Kaiba?” He asked as calmly and politely as possible, but of course he sounded irritated.

“We’re going to a social event tonight.” The brunette informed him without a hint of bargaining.

But Jonouchi was a haggler nonetheless, and he groaned “Can’t you tell them I’m at work?”

“It’s an acute care clinic, not a full hospital, it closes at seven o'clock. The event starts at nine.”

“Can’t you tell them I’m sick.”

“Katsuya it’s been six months and I’ve used that excuse eight times already.”

“Can’t you tell them I died.” Okay that one was obviously a joke, but he was still irritated and didn’t want to go to some business event designed for extremely rich people to show off projects and hypothetically show everyone just how big their dick really was.

Kaiba sighed and walked over, resting a hand onto the couch to lean on it slightly. Oh great, now he was going to use one of those bullshit first-semester-of-community-college-psych techniques on him. Oh, joy how he really looked forward to being guilted by a guy he despised but was unironically hitched to. “Look, if this arrangement is going to work we have to at least occasionally be seen in public together as a couple, we don’t want this to look like a sham.”

“This is a sham, dumbass.” He popped another grape into his mouth and chewed with his mouth open just to spite the blue-eyed duelist, and to highlight the fact that he still didn’t give two halves of a fuck.

“Regardless, Katsuya, you should at least put some effort into this marriage, I can’t be the one pulling all of the weight.” Kaiba stated sternly, and his statement almost made Jonouchi throw the whole ceramic bowl of grapes at him.

Angrily the blonde retorted “Oh hell no are you going to accuse me of not pulling my weight! I gave up my life for this 'arrangement’!” His appeal to emotion fallacy fell to ears that belonged to an emotionless brain.

“Get upstairs, clean up and put on something decent. This isn’t an option, you’re going to go. It isn’t a very formal even so I’d suggest business casual.” And with that, Kaiba left the Livingroom, to get ready for the event as well. He put emphasis on the word suggest because Jonouchi had no choice.

-/-

“If you like me Kaiba just say so.” Jonouchi whispered, harshly but in a joking manner as his… spouse, practically dragged him out of the limo, insisting on their arms being linked together so they wouldn’t give away the fact that they hated physical contact of any kind with each other.

“Just stay quiet.” Kaiba instructed in a mumble, walking them both to the Centre where the event was being held – some old billionaire unveiling his next product to make even more money, seeking out fellow business tycoons to invest in it.

“Whatever.” The brunet continued to walk him in, and Jonouchi was relieved to see that it wasn’t a formal white-collar event, and the other people attending were in business casual as well, but all of them minus the presumably single ones had brought their spouses. Okay so maybe Kaiba had good reason to drag him with him, not that he’d give him credit or anything.

Once they were both seat at some random table, the CEO started giving him a 'pep talk’ “Don’t you dare talk to anyone. If you do, keep it limited to pleasantries only. I don’t need you saying anything unintelligent to my peers.”

“Yes 'dear’, of course.” Jonouchi sarcastically replied, but nodded as well. He didn’t want to talk to some random rich people he didn’t know anyways. He didn’t even like talking to Kaiba and he knew him.

“I’ll go grab us a drink, you wait here.” Kaiba said, then paused “Not because I care but, you know, have to keep the image of a marriage up.”

Jonouchi rolled his eyes, crossed his arms and not caring how unprofessional it looked “Whatever, Kaiba, just, no alcohol okay.” The blonde duelist didn’t drink. The blue-eyed man simply nodded and walked away, giving his 'partner’ a moment of peace.

Jonouchi heavily sighed. He really should have paid closer attention to the big print of that contract.

TO BE CONTINUED

Author’s note: I don’t have a name for the clinic that Jonouchi currently works at but it’s a children’s acute care clinic owned by the Kaiba Corporation. And when Jonouchi said he’d rather stick his dick in an ant hill than have sex with Kaiba, it’s a reference to watch?v=3vXNTCpM6rE

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